(Warning... The text below is written by me and I take no responsibilty whatsoever of its implications. If you have an objection with what's written here, please go and jump into a well.)

(But on a more serious note... the following is a light-hearted post. Do not take it seriously. They are not the real opinions of the author. They are simply the opinions the author is trying to project.)

Men.... We are getting royally gypped...

Times... they are a-changing...

Back in the old days, there used to be seperated roles. Men were asked to work and get the money, women were made to look after the home. This led to definitions of chivalry and ladylike behaviour.

But as the purity of the chennai koovam river was diluted through the years with sweage coming from the evolved-neanderthal bathrooms, so have the said roles. 

Gone are the days when women waited for hours on end, biding their time and waiting for their husbands to come home, so that they can shower them with love and hospitality. Gone are the days when being a good cook was a compliment directed towards the wives. Gone are the days, when being delicate and loving were traits that were 

considered to be part of the women gene pool.

Those days... are over.

Man, guided by the blind goal of so-called equal rights and justice has willingly turned himself into a slave to the fairer sex.

Women, have over the years, pulled cloth over our eyes, so to speak and have ensured that over the years, they take the place of the once forgotten realm of god.

They are starting a religion and nothing short of a revolution will upheve us from this downfall.

They have conquered the terms for better-half and fairer sex and accused us with terms like chavanists...

They are slowly and surely taking over the world and giving us a raw deal in the end.

Don't believe me? I state to you a few certain facts that you will find hard to refute.

In a date, it is considered the role of the man to make the "moves"

But... If a man moves too soon for a woman, he is accused of being a satyromaniac. (thank you google..)

But if a man is too slow, he is accused of being shy.

He is supposed to take her on a date and show her a good time and If he fails, he is called a bore. The whole date thing is the man's responsibility. It has to be fun and he has to be entertaining, if he fails, it is completely his fault. If the woman is a bore, it is illogical to blame her, that would be rude.

He is the sole funding agent for the whole date, after all that is part of "chivalry" (for the real meaning of chivalry... check here.

He has to help the woman on all her problems and chores, that all falls under that.

Okay... fine... so you endure all this and you get married.

Now is the time for the woman to take up her role and take care of you.

But No... that's the "catch". Women are now modern. Why should they slave over a hot stove and clean and take care of men? It's equal rights time, let the men do the cooking and we will employ someone to take care of the house cleaning and everything.

Okay... so shouldn't women work? Oh no... they can't do that. They have to be lady like and have to take care of the family and the home. Except... all that is taken care of now... so how do they spend the time? Well... they go shopping, partying and do other fun things... while the man goes around the world trading life and limb in order to keep her happy.

Now I say to you... the issue is getting out of hand. It is about time someone stood and said..."Oi... there's something wrong going on here yaar!!" It is time that we we men gather together and rally our forces!!"

It is time to return to our primal states!! Let us go out there and subject the women to where they belong, under our feet!!!

Muhahahahhahahahhahahahhaha.....

P.S oh... don't tell my mom about this post... she would literally kill me..

Regards,

The great revolutionist.

Dragonball Evolution

Ever wanted to watch a movie, where in the climax, the hero changes his clothes after escaping from a hovercraft jeep thats exploding? - Well then, this is the movie for you!!!

I usually never write about movies, because I'm not a critic, but this movie was based on something, very dear to me, and now, they have quite cheerfully, killed it.

It all started with a pencil box that I bought years ago at a local shop. One could tell the box was imported, it looked expensive. But what drew me to the box was not its design, but a few picutres that were painted on it. I saw a few more boxes with simillar drawings and noticed one thing common with all of them. The word, dragonball.

That was the first introduction to dragonball to me. A few years later, they started showing the show on TV in India, and all my greatest fantasies came true. 

Dragonball Z was everything I hoped it would be and much, much more.

Eventually I was facinated by it and later found out, that it in fact was anime. This was what drew me and countless other anime crazy individuals out there, into the world of anime.

This was the first show that tied itself closely with words like epic and legendary.

It's been twenty years now since the show was over and they are re-running it on TV and die-hard fans still take it in as they chant prayers to the awesomeness of it all.

Dragonball evolution, being the movie based on this great show, held millions of hopes and dreams in its hands.

"Wow!! a real live draonball movie!! Wow!! Like, Kaboosh man!!!"

They then proceeded to mercillesly, kill it. The worst nightmares of every single fan came true. 

This movie is not just the worst anime adaptation there is, it is also the worst movie there is, period.

It's so bad in fact that if I didn't know anything about dragonball Z, I would be laughing at the insanity of it all.

It's just ridiculous!! Fan's of DBZ, I assure you, you will hate it. People who don't even know what DBZ is, watch it, its hillarious!! (for the wrong reasons...)

The movie is not actually about DBZ, but supposed to be about DB. Where piccollo is the bad guy and wants to take over the world. I know this because I have watched the whole series, twice. 

They, although, don't go through the trouble of explaining any of it. This is what it seemed like the story was trying to convey. "There's like this evil guy, he wants to take over the world, and the only one who can stop him is his monkey."

Considering that the characters, the plot, the ideas are not even simillar to Dragonball Z, I wonder why they even bothered calling it dragonball. They might as well have called it, "Boom, Boom, Bakalaka" and got the tittle over with. The only thing in common this movie had with the series was the names of the characters. There are so many things that are wrong with this movie, that it's hard to pin point which is the worst aspect of it.

Even though I knew that they had made changes to the plot of the anime, I had hoped it would have been at the very least, a movie. This was not a movie. This was ninty minutes of crazy things happening on the screen for apparently no reason.

I mean, look how Batman, Spiderman, Ironman and the transformers turned out. They were pretty decent action flicks. They even kept the characters and themes, intact. Here, they tried to make mango chutney with ginger and coca-cola and they failed miserably.

A pox on all those who willingly consented to make this movie. A bigger pox on the main character who claims to be a DBZ fan, for if he was, he has obligingly, betrayed us all!!

May Dragonball Evolution bomb so badly that they never even think of making a sequel to this embarresement of an adaptation.

Down with Dragonball Evolution!!

Long live the Legacy of Dragonball Z the anime and manga!!!

Why I want to be a sports addict, continued from a post long ago....

Firstly, It's a guy thing. When you are a guy, it is best suited as the guy steretype to have some game that you love. It's macho dude....

Besides, If you have a game, your girl won't feel left out when her friends whine about their boyfriends being addicted to sports, she'll have something to rant about too. 

It's a win-win situation.

Secondly, being a sports addict gives you something of a cult status. You are part of this really cool gang with whom you will never run out of things to talk about and everyone who watches that sport is your friend.

It's like a religion, if you stay devoted to it, you will never be alone.

Imagine this situation.

You have decided to take up a course in Italy where they will teach how to make the best Pizza and Pasta in the world!!

("Why?" you may ask. "Because you love Pizza!!! you Idiot" I would reply. "I don't like Pizza" you may argue. Well, if thats the case, then... now you do!! Its not your blog, so shove it... ha ha... freedom of speech baby!! Muhahahahhahaha)

Anyway, you are in Italy and trying to make the best pasta, so you join a resturant as a chef in training. The restaurant has a TV that's fixed to the cieling, so that whoever is bored, can watch. Its not a classy place, but it does decently well.

The World Football Cup finals is on. Italy Vs France.

You are an ardent supporter of Italy. You try not to get caught while you steal a glance at the TV that's relaying the finals at a lone corner to the people in the restaurant.

Italy scores a goal (a sneaky one at that) and wins!! 

The crowd erupts in an uproar!! Everyone goes crazy. For the next few hours, everybody in the room is everybody else's friend.

More importantly, everybody is also your friend. For someone who doesn't know anything about how to speak Italian, that's a blessing. You don't know pasta about Italian, but it doesn't matter anymore for the next few hours.

For the people who enter the restaurant and interact with you, you have something to say.

I'll demonstrate the situation with my favorite guest on this blog, Guest. 

(For finding out who guest is, click here.)

Guest: Hello there... what's up? I'm guest.

Me: Hey... what's up? hows life...

Guest: Let's skip the small talk... what's the situation?

Me: Okay... You just have to pretend like a customer to a Italian Restaurant. I'll act as the chef who you give your order to. The World cup finals has just ended and Italy has just won. The nation is in Jubiliation.

Guest: Ah.... okay... 

Me: Mama mia... eh... what beings you to the Italian pizzaria? You want something Pizza?

Guest: Buona sera!

Me: Ah... you saw the match eh? Good no? Italy win!! Italy RULZ BABY!!!

Guest: Ah... Dov'è il bagno?

Me: Yeah... yeah... I saw the whole match... it was amazing!! What a goal eh? I loved every second of it.

Guest: Sì!! Sono desolato... Dov'è il bagno?

Me: Yeah... yeah... great game... great game... 

Guest: Dude... you suck...

Me: Huh? What? That went well right?

Guest: No... you just kept talking to me about the bloody football game...

Me: Oh... what were you asking me then? Pizza? But you didn't say anything about Pizza... that much I know..

Guest: No... I was asking you "where the bathroom was!"

Me: WHAT!!??? Why in the world would you do that? Are you crazy??

Guest: Not as crazy as a guy who's trying to talk to me about some stupid football game while I'm 

    trying to get to the bathroom!!

Me: Sheesh!! Idiot!!

Well anyway... while I go and settle things with "Guest" You have a great day picking your sport that you plan to love.

It's a great thing, and if you end up truly loving the game, you might just get darn excited about it.

Best of luck.

P.S:

For those who are interested in learning about how to speak Italian, here's a good place to start.

Learn Simple Italian.

Why the mediocrity?

Where's the crazies? 

I want to see it. Where are the people who do things you 

never expect them to.

Where are the people who do things that you cannot 

believe that they could do.

Where are the crazy people who do crazy things, that 

make you wonder why they are doing it?

Where are the real people??

I want to meet the real people who are insane!?!?! 

Where are they??

If this does not make sense to you, then you are not the 

one I am talking about or addressing this post to.

I am talking about the people who do the most obvious 

things, because they want to look obvious.

I am talking about the people who do crazy things, because

they want to become free of things that bind them.

I am talking about poeple who wontonly and willingly do 

something so bizzare just to get out of the mundanity of

their lives.

Where are the crazy people?

Where are the free people?

Where are the people who are so insane, that 

they pretend to be normal because its fun?

Where are the people who just suddenly decide

to give out hugs?

Where are the people who live out each moment 

in their lives as if its their last?

Where are the people who are bold enough to be 

kind?

Where are the people who are strong enough to be

vulnerable?

Where are the people who are smart enough to 

be stupid?

Where are these people??

I want to meet them.

And as usual, I just have more questions and less 

answers.

If you know someone like this or you yourself 

understand what I am talking about, please contact me.

I sure would like to meet you.

Cheers,

Have a great day.

The toughest thing for a new author?

Its not the the plot or the build up of characters. Its not the critism that you would get from friends or from family. Its not your self-doubt about the book. Its not your audience, its not the build up. Its not the story. Its none of those things.

Getting it published is probably one of the toughest things that an author would face, especially in India. 

Most publishers have a strict following of the snail mail. That is your local postman. No matter what happens, you need to first follow the rules.

First you need to find the publishers in India. 

Then you need send the synopsis and sample chapters. 

This is followed by a wait.

Then some more waiting.

Then more waiting.

Then more waiting.

Then more waiting.

This is the hardest part. Most well to do publishers will never inform you if your manuscript has been approved or rejected. They have no place where you can contact them for information. There is no way of knowing, if your book is being read or not.

Of course, its not completely their fault. They get a lot of books for publishing and they cannot keep replying to everybody.

I just wish they had a better system to help the author know. Oh well... 

But, there are some publishers who do reply. For example, Rupa and Co sent me back my manuscript saying they could not use it. Its upsetting, but its okay, you are not living in anxiety, you can move on.

If you are first time author, my heart goes out to you man. Best of luck. Here's a website that helped me get started on my search for a publisher.

Check it here: Getting started on trying to get your book published in India.

On a side note,

Ever wondered wondered why the world is never fair?

Well think about it, there's the guy who became famous because he sat on his computer, and jiggled quite funnily to a Romanian dance song tittled "Numa, Numa"

If you have not heard of him, check him out here: Numa Numa

And there's this other chap, who became an actor, then a captain, then a politician. 

His captancy is only as bad as his acting and slightly worse than his parading as a politician.

Whos it is? Check here amigo: Captain

Then, there's this other Einstein whose website turned up when I randomly googled 

"Why men are better than women" 

Don't ask me why I googled that though.

Anyway, his take on "why men are better than women". 

His reasons vary from "women being racists" to stating that "Men write illegibly" and using that as a

reason, making me question whose side he was on in the first place.

Check his crap out here: "Top ten reasons why men are better than women"

But what shocked me most was not even the crazy reasons, but the number of comments he got

for it.

The number of comments I have tottaly for all my posts in this whole blog is lesser than the number of comments he

got for that crappy post!!

The world is unfair!!

Also, if your bored and want to see people who are more idiotic than you, check out his post on how to deal with a vegetarian.

Good grief, the world is filled with Idiots. Or in true Obelix stlye, "These Humans are crazy!!"

On other news:

Ever wanted to get up early in the morning?

Try this guy's advice, It seems to be helpfull.

How to get up early in the morning.

So, all things considered, If one was to become famous, one has to first be:

a) Fat.

b) Ridiculous.

c) Do something stupid.

Hmmm... where do I rate?

a) Fat - Well, I am a bit on the plump side. And I have many people who would vouch for that.

b) Ridiculous - I have even more people who would vouch for that part of me.

c) Do something stupid - I do this everyday!!

So, its clear, I am about to become famous anytime soon now...

So, come one, come all... Get my autograph before I get too arrogant to sign them.

Anyways,

Same blog, same day of the week, next week.

Untill then,

Take care.

And have a great day!

Science and Math are fun!!

Well, I bet that almost everyone has heard that line from some teacher at some point of their lives.  

And I also bet that even though you kept trying to tell yourself the above statement over and over again whenever you had to study, it somehow never worked. And you always hated the people who started this whole science madness.

Well, I can assure you that I have been there and am still doing it.

Well, in that light, here are a couple of images I found online that support that statement.

Check it out, they can be fun afterall. Or rather, they can be made fun of.

P.S

I did not make any of these images. I got these images thanks to a coloboration between me and Google Search.

In that Regard, I deeply thank Google for their continuing assitance to me and hope our collaboration can be forever and more importantly, that it remains free.

Project Torque? No... Project Torment!!!

Well a lot of new games are making themselves present free of charge online. So basically, you can download the game and play it online all for free!!

Now, which self respecting gamer can resist such an offer?

And I am self respecting gamer.

So, any new game such as this, is immediatly found out through the geek community and downloaded.

These games always feature something that is not present in the free version which gives the user who pays an advantage.

This is a logical step, so its accepted, you can't ask for everything.

But, out of this free online game genre, a few games have come and stood out.

The first game that I considered excellent for free was Trackmania Nations. This is a simple and yet competitive game with good graphics and is suitable to be run on any PC. Very simple and addictive, it was awesome.

Then the next game I liked was GUNZ. This was actually quite difficult to aquire since, a lot of people in India cannot play it mainly due to ISP problems. And suprisingly Hathway actually had no problems. Making this the one and only time that I did not regret getting Hathway. This game also featured good graphics, online playablity and was quite good. Any FPS fan would really love this game. 

Then, recently Project Torque was reccomended to me by my friend. Would this also fall under the genre of online games that I absolutely adore and are for free!!!

Well, I wouldn't know, I never actually finished downloading it.

Why?

Well, first of all, the website requires you to download the 970mb file for installation. 

(I thought, "Well, thats quite large, but what the hell, lets clear up some space")

So, I did clear space on my comp for it and put it on download. 

After waiting patiently for 2 days and 2 nights. The download finally got done. 

I proceded to immediatly install the file. 

But, as I wanted to install the file, it reported. Not enough space to install the game. "Huh? not enough space? How much does it need to install?" Well... upon further inspection, I realize that the game require 3.5gb! of free space. 

So, I grumble and pains takingly burn a dvd, clear some space and finally install the damn file.

Then I run it. 

But does it run? 

Of course not! Things never run smoothly for me.

It immediatly says that it needs to update the file. So, I say okay.

Thinking how much could it possibly need to update? maybe a couple of mb? 

Hooo... boy... I sure was wrong. It required 350 mb!!!

Well, I crunch my teeth and grumble somemore and put it on download again. 

2 bars show up.

One bar shows 10% and the second bar scrolls from left to right. 

But, the update is not as fast as the initial download was so,

4 frustrating nights and days later, the game finally painstakingly completes the download.

"Yay!! Finally!!" I said to myself, overjoyed.

"I can finally play the game!! Yay!!!"

Then, the unthinable happens. The second bar goes from 10% to 12% and the remaining amount of data to download shifts from 0 mb to 420 mb!! 

Apparently it was the second update...

I just shut the update and erased its existance from the computer, leaving no trace of its previous existance whatsoever.

So much for that game, and good riddance!!

On a side note: 

Ever wondered what your web camera would look like if you stuck three feathers on top of it? Well... Wonder no more.

Here's a link to a higher resolution image of the same:

Check Here.

Ever wanted to pose as a drummer online? Well, you can now, by using this gif as an avatar for wherever you go. Made it myself. 

Muhahhahahahahahahahah....

Anyway... have a nice day..